stranded on here for life..

2005-06-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

just finished a mini lit essay for Jia's poem on current currants. check it out! it's under 'take your pick'

i sit here staring at the moniter
eyes dazed
mouth agog
it's nearly 3 hours
but i am still hynotised

dazzling screen
blaring stereo
busily smsing
begging testimonials for my friendster

bare my soul on my blog

it's all part of my cliched life

2005-06-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

i thought i'll just post my personal statement that I am going to use for the jc's apllications here.

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When I started studying in SMSS, God, Jesus and the Christian faith has been introduced to me. I was bewildered initially as I was a non-Christian but it is a meaningful experience. I listened intently during these sessions to learn more about Christianity and even debated with my friends on God’s existence.

I became more reflective and questioning in the process. My reasoning skills also improved greatly during those heated debates. Moreover, I went on to discover the thinkers’ world (philosophy) which I now regard as the pinnacle of human thought. Though, I still remain an agnostic but I have become open minded and respectful towards others’ beliefs and faith.

Being a member of the school choir has been unforgettable experience. There is an incredible feeling of unity as everyone harmonizes together to achieve the perfect sound. The discipline required to stand and sing continuously for 4 hours has also improved my patience by leaps and bounds.

Not only did I gain self confidence and got rid of my mentality of being afraid to sing out loud, I also realized that I could influence others with the change in me. This was important when I took on the role as a committee member and had to deal with choir members who had a negative attitude towards choir.

However my passion for dance was cut short due to the tremendous stress I was facing from juggling many activities. Thus I felt a necessary sacrifice had to be made to allow me to participate in whatever I undertake wholeheartedly.

Indeed it has proven to be the right decision as I gained valuable lessons as a Prefect and Youth Councillor (Northwest CDC) by learning how to be diplomatic and facing adversity optimistically. Belonging to the pioneer group of Dots Inc* has also enabled me to multi task efficiently and become more innovative.

Socrates once said, “One thing I only know is that I know nothing”. In our ever-changing society this is evident, what I know now might be obsolete in fifty years time. Equipped with my various experiences and interests, I believe that it will allow me to be adaptable, realistic and humble in future, in order to face whatever challenges that I might come upon.

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Give me your comments, please? :P

2005-06-04T02:02:00.000-07:00

something is wrong!!!

2005-06-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

the weekend is here!

got a haircut yesterday. now, i look like a little boy :( and it's not helping that my mum claims that if i wasn't so tall (i'm not tall. it's just i'm taller than her and the older generations of asians, perhaps.) i could pass off as a 10 year old kid :
anyways went out with my mum yesterday, bought stationary and sourced for school shoes since i have a humongous gaping hole at the corner of my present pair. due to the steep prices over here, i have decided that i'm going to get my shoes in m'sia.haha. i'm so happy ! i want to go to m'sia! quick quick! :) i seriously need a break. the residue of chinese idioms and whatsnot is still lingering in my mind..:(

another point, is that i have to finish so much stuff this weekend!
let's see:

1. finish the jc's applications
( there is still a photo to take and the personal statement thing to write.sighs!)

2. try to finish heymaths nonesense for E and A maths (Help me!)

3. english forum thingy ( i need a few more newspapers!)

4. Lit file! ( gosh. it's 2 years worth of notes. lit stuff is like... this thiCK!)

5. Borrow library books( i don't mind a single bit though :))

6. swim, jog, exercise whatever...

7. Read chem's alkanes and alkenes! ( isomers, polymers here i come..)

8. finish the ss notes on venice AND s'pore governance

that's all i hope .. :/

alright, i go surf awhile before hitting the pool with sheryl.haha see what i procasinator i am, i type a long list of stuff to do but i go and swim. never mind that's item 6 on the list as well..hehe

ciao!

2005-06-01T00:43:00.000-07:00

i just screwed up my oral.
sighs!
rachel chai who went after me said that ms noraini kept saying," Very Good! Very good! " to her.

that means 2 things:

either, i done really badly and rachel came out smelling like roses

Or

i did really, really really badly and rachel still came out smelling like roses (without thorns)

:(

shucks! depressed, not in the mood to blog. Perhaps i'll do so later on...

2005-05-31T00:31:00.000-07:00

i am tired.

have this whole bunch of work to do and i am just not motivated. such a procastinator. Anyhow, i am going to do it later. As usual. Perhaps to swim too with my friend. Determined to get down to 45kg. Can't believe my brother's thighs are thinner than mine. Urghs!

Don't worry, I am not turning anorexic as my previous post/poem suggests.Haha. I am just amazed at the amount of weight i put on during the exams. teaches you not to indulge in good food to much.:/

My only highlight of the day is watching Golden Faith, this Hongkong drama serial tonight. Hahs, how pathetic :(...

Perhaps i can drag my dad to the library. Then i will have something more to live for..

Or maybe i will reread sophie's world. it rocks.. so does solitiare..
and i like plato!

(hehs, i am NOT suicidal, just being irritating cos i lOOOOve books but haven't got to read them, the new and good ones in about... 3 days??? told you i was a bookaholic..)

2005-05-31T00:23:00.000-07:00

Anorexic Barbie

slender figure
narrow hips
tiny ankles and wrists'

face gaunt
body emaciated
veins protuding

world-weary
bags under eyes
skin stretched taut

she's falling, crumbling, shattering...

2005-05-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Drenched by drizzle,
sloshing slipper.
Leaned against lamp post,
Tear trickles
restful raindrops
miscibly mixed.
No longer discernable..

Got the inspiration while lounging by the pool.
Weird though, why did I think of rain when it was so bright and shiny. I was literally sun-baking. But I could only think permisstically?
Sighs, I am just obsessed with the rain, I guess?

Just completed my Chinese exams, so much for some people telling me it was easy . My dad estimated that I lost 2 marks, i wish. Think it's pretty more.

Think I will surf then head for the pool again. Ciao!

Girl-

2005-05-27T23:48:00.000-07:00

teenage angst
(when you know it not, you flaunt it. when you finally do, you 'd hide it)

Acheivements- a squiggly mess on white paper
Corroding its pristine surface with its ugly black scrapings.
Sweeping sadness floods over me,
I have just realised i was not this year's prizewinners' list

Insomnia,tears,headaches
All for nothing
Wasted till I was left breathless
I seem not to have my own targets
Only what the society sets me.

A1? A2?
Distinction rate of 10?
Why is my life limited to grades
- Just a measly symbol on my report book

Lost tounch of myself in the race for results,
hoping I will slide down the right side of the bell-curve

Pythagoras, Binomial, Quotient rule
Those tiny figures swim in my exhausted brain
Trying to form a tangible equation.
Trying to cram some more chemistry in.

Eve my refuge has been snatched away.
Books used to be travelling without moving.
A mere flick of a page would probably land me in India.
But now it 's just a source for lengthy vocabulary.

I am a machine
My grey matter, my engine
My body, my well-oiled gears
I eat for sustenance
I process whatever you want me to.

No feelings.
No emotions.
No apathy.

My aim: to conquer the world
You have made me inhumane.

Girl-